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Hilarious Help Wanted Ads

In this piece, News Target satires newforced to reluctantly contribute to approval
employment postings at the Food and Drugof dubious drugs, or, in some cases, drugs
Administration (FDA). Someare approved against the investigators'
highlights:Propaganda Officer: Help the FDArecommendations.Part of the problem is that
create and spread information that discreditsthese professionals are so disheartened when
products, companies and ideas that threatenthey realize that more than 50 percentof the
FDA control. No scientific backgroundmoney the FDA spends reviewing drugs comes
necessary.Science Censor: Bury scientificfrom the pharmaceutical industry. A full 80
findings that harm the prestige andpercentof the FDA's resources are geared
credibility of the FDA.Chief Oppressiontoward the approval of new drugs, and only 20
Officer: Conduct armed raids on places wherepercentfor all the rest. Only 5 percent goes
dangerous criminals are teaching patientsto drug safety.Then their hands are tied as
about nutrition.Kickback Coordinator: Keepthey watch these same drugs harm thousands of
tabs on FDA managers' investments inpeople. It is not uncommon for respected FDA
pharmaceutical companies. Criminal backgroundveterans to leave the FDA having lost
preferred, mob ties are a plus.Moraleconfidence in the safety or effectiveness of
Officer: Keep FDA employees in line to boostprescription drugs. Morale at the FDA is at
morale and work efficiency.Public Safetyan all-time low.Already, the FDA has become
Program Director: Not really a full-time job.little more than a rubber-stamp approval
In fact, you don't even need to show up.Newsprocess for Big Pharma. While current
Target August 13, 2005Dr. Mercola's"industry-friendly" policy stands, things
Comment:These humorous ads carry the distinctwill only get worse as more and more honest
bite of truth. Slowly but surely, pressureemployees are driven out.Dr. Mercola is the
from management and frustration among workingfounder of Mercola.com, one of the world's
scientists is driving out the employees atmost visited and trusted health websites, and
the FDA who really care about drug safety,publisher of the free e-newsletter -- the #1
and replacing them with tools of thedietary health and wellness newsletter on the
pharmaceutical industry.The current climateWeb with over 500,000 subscribers. Dr.
at the FDA is causing an unprecedented amountMercola, a physician for over two decades, is
of employee turnover. In 2002, the Wallalso a New York Times bestselling author
Street Journal reported that 15 percent ofwhose latest book, "Dr. Mercola's Total
FDA medical officer jobs were vacant. This isHealth Program," presents his entire renowned
much higher than at other similar governmentdietary health program and has sold over
agencies, such as the National Institute of150,000 copies. He is routinely interviewed
Health (NIH)or the Centers for Diseaseby the media for his expert insights,
Control and Prevention (CDC).Top scientistsincluding CNN and ABC World News Tonight. His
who have committed their lives to publicpassion is to change the fatally flawed
safety are being prevented from doing theirconventional medical system to one focused on
jobs, and are either giving up and quittingreal prevention and cure.
or being forced out. Honest scientists are



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