Holiday Torture - Christmasboarding Liberals

When the founding fathers repeatedly referred totask all the easier.
God through various flowery and reverent terms inWhen a liberal steeped in political correctness
the Declaration of Independence, there was a reasonapproaches you and wishes you "Happy Holidays"
for it. The reason is that they believed in God asyou simply respond by saying, "And a Merry
men of deep Judeo-Christian faith.Christmas to you."
When George Washington prayed at Valley Forge heWhen the liberal chides you for being so "exclusive" in
did not do so just because he thought that it mightyour greeting, you simply again wish them a "Merry
have been a novel idea. No, there was a deeperChristmas".
reason for it. That reason was his Christian faith.When the liberal complains that you are being
When the founding fathers as one proudly proclaimed"insensitive" by not including all faiths in your wishes
in writing upon signing the United States Constitutionof good tiding you yet again wish them, this time
that they did such "in the year of our Lord", they didwith a smile, a "Merry Christmas".
not do so for window dressing. They did so becauseWhen the liberal points wildly at the beautifully
they all believed in some way in the Christian God.decorated tree in the town square and shouts, "Don't
When John Adams stated boldly that theyou see the 'Holiday Tree'?!?" you get an even bigger
constitution, "was made only for a moral and religiousgrin and say, "Yes, I see the Christmas Tree." And
people. It is wholly inadequate to the government ofthen again wish them a "Merry Christmas."
any other," he didn't just blurt those words out. No,Now, red faced and distraught, the liberal will start
he said them because he, like so many othersdemanding answers to other questions trying in vain
believed in God and had engrained that faith into ourto escape from your clutches and the horrific
country and our founding documents.experience you are putting them through. When they
Now, I could go on and on and spend this entireask you through foaming spit if you even understand
article citing historical examples that tie thehow Jesus was not even born on December 25th.
Judeo-Christian faith into the very fabric of America.You just smile and say, "I know and Merry
But what I would rather do is make a joyousChristmas."
suggestion to everyone. That suggestion is to doWhen the liberal raises his or her voice to a fevered
your civic duty this Christmas season and annoy ascream and asks you if you even know that this
liberal."Christmas" thing used to be a pagan holiday, you
How? Well I am glad you asked! Annoy them byjust keep smiling and say, "Yes," and quickly follow
subjecting them to a torture that is so unbearable, sowith, "Merry Christmas."
repulsive, so unmentionable in polite company thatWhen he or she threatens to call the police on you
you will no doubt be hearing rumblings from thefor harassing them by refusing to stop saying "Merry
United Nations about how it should be made illegal.Christmas," you swell with pride and say, "Good, then
Am I talking about waterboarding? Heck no. I amI can wish our law enforcement a Merry Christmas
talking about something far worse. So please,too!"
consider Christmasboarding a liberal while you still can.At this point you will hear a loud "pop". That is the
What is Christmasboarding?sound of the liberal's brain burning out and you will
It's quite simple really. Anytime a liberal approachessee a blank stare cross their face and they will
you in the coming days and wants to deny realitycollapse into the fetal position, begin sucking on their
this Christmas, you simply hit them over the headthumbs and muttering over and over, "Separation of
with the truth. The great thing is that you don'tchurch and state ... I will not recognize religion exists ...
actually have to tie them down to do this becausethe ACLU will save me ..."
they will be so incensed with their own outrage thatAnd then you can just walk away and search for the
you would dare put reality before them that they willnext liberal to Christmasboard.
be paralyzed and unable to move. Thus making your