| When the founding fathers repeatedly referred | | | | they will be paralyzed and unable to move. |
| to God through various flowery and reverent | | | | Thus making your task all the easier. |
| terms in the Declaration of Independence, | | | | |
| there was a reason for it. The reason is | | | | When a liberal steeped in political |
| that they believed in God as men of deep | | | | correctness approaches you and wishes you |
| Judeo-Christian faith. | | | | "Happy Holidays" you simply respond by |
| | | | saying, "And a Merry Christmas to you." |
| When George Washington prayed at Valley Forge | | | | |
| he did not do so just because he thought that | | | | When the liberal chides you for being so |
| it might have been a novel idea. No, there | | | | "exclusive" in your greeting, you simply |
| was a deeper reason for it. That reason was | | | | again wish them a "Merry Christmas". |
| his Christian faith. | | | | |
| | | | When the liberal complains that you are being |
| When the founding fathers as one proudly | | | | "insensitive" by not including all faiths in |
| proclaimed in writing upon signing the United | | | | your wishes of good tiding you yet again wish |
| States Constitution that they did such "in | | | | them, this time with a smile, a "Merry |
| the year of our Lord", they did not do so for | | | | Christmas". |
| window dressing. They did so because they | | | | |
| all believed in some way in the Christian | | | | When the liberal points wildly at the |
| God. | | | | beautifully decorated tree in the town square |
| | | | and shouts, "Don't you see the 'Holiday |
| When John Adams stated boldly that the | | | | Tree'?!?" you get an even bigger grin and |
| constitution, "was made only for a moral and | | | | say, "Yes, I see the Christmas Tree." And |
| religious people. It is wholly inadequate to | | | | then again wish them a "Merry Christmas." |
| the government of any other," he didn't just | | | | |
| blurt those words out. No, he said them | | | | Now, red faced and distraught, the liberal |
| because he, like so many others believed in | | | | will start demanding answers to other |
| God and had engrained that faith into our | | | | questions trying in vain to escape from your |
| country and our founding documents. | | | | clutches and the horrific experience you are |
| | | | putting them through. When they ask you |
| Now, I could go on and on and spend this | | | | through foaming spit if you even understand |
| entire article citing historical examples | | | | how Jesus was not even born on December 25th. |
| that tie the Judeo-Christian faith into the | | | | You just smile and say, "I know and Merry |
| very fabric of America. But what I would | | | | Christmas." |
| rather do is make a joyous suggestion to | | | | |
| everyone. That suggestion is to do your | | | | When the liberal raises his or her voice to a |
| civic duty this Christmas season and annoy a | | | | fevered scream and asks you if you even know |
| liberal. | | | | that this "Christmas" thing used to be a |
| | | | pagan holiday, you just keep smiling and say, |
| How? Well I am glad you asked! Annoy them | | | | "Yes," and quickly follow with, "Merry |
| by subjecting them to a torture that is so | | | | Christmas." |
| unbearable, so repulsive, so unmentionable in | | | | |
| polite company that you will no doubt be | | | | When he or she threatens to call the police |
| hearing rumblings from the United Nations | | | | on you for harassing them by refusing to stop |
| about how it should be made illegal. Am I | | | | saying "Merry Christmas," you swell with |
| talking about waterboarding? Heck no. I am | | | | pride and say, "Good, then I can wish our law |
| talking about something far worse. So | | | | enforcement a Merry Christmas too!" |
| please, consider Christmasboarding a liberal | | | | |
| while you still can. | | | | At this point you will hear a loud "pop". |
| | | | That is the sound of the liberal's brain |
| What is Christmasboarding? | | | | burning out and you will see a blank stare |
| | | | cross their face and they will collapse into |
| It's quite simple really. Anytime a liberal | | | | the fetal position, begin sucking on their |
| approaches you in the coming days and wants | | | | thumbs and muttering over and over, |
| to deny reality this Christmas, you simply | | | | "Separation of church and state ... I will |
| hit them over the head with the truth. The | | | | not recognize religion exists ... the ACLU |
| great thing is that you don't actually have | | | | will save me ..." |
| to tie them down to do this because they will | | | | |
| be so incensed with their own outrage that | | | | And then you can just walk away and search |
| you would dare put reality before them that | | | | for the next liberal to Christmasboard. |