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Holiday Torture - Christmasboarding Liberals

When the founding fathers repeatedly referredthey will be paralyzed and unable to move.
to God through various flowery and reverentThus  making  your  task  all  the  easier.
terms in the Declaration of Independence,
there was a reason for it. The reason isWhen a liberal steeped in political
that they believed in God as men of deepcorrectness approaches you and wishes you
Judeo-Christian  faith."Happy Holidays" you simply respond by
saying,  "And  a  Merry  Christmas  to  you."
When George Washington prayed at Valley Forge
he did not do so just because he thought thatWhen the liberal chides you for being so
it might have been a novel idea. No, there"exclusive" in your greeting, you simply
was a deeper reason for it. That reason wasagain  wish  them  a  "Merry  Christmas".
his  Christian  faith.
When the liberal complains that you are being
When the founding fathers as one proudly"insensitive" by not including all faiths in
proclaimed in writing upon signing the Unitedyour wishes of good tiding you yet again wish
States Constitution that they did such "inthem, this time with a smile, a "Merry
the year of our Lord", they did not do so forChristmas".
window dressing. They did so because they
all believed in some way in the ChristianWhen the liberal points wildly at the
God.beautifully decorated tree in the town square
and shouts, "Don't you see the 'Holiday
When John Adams stated boldly that theTree'?!?" you get an even bigger grin and
constitution, "was made only for a moral andsay, "Yes, I see the Christmas Tree." And
religious people. It is wholly inadequate tothen  again  wish  them  a "Merry Christmas."
the government of any other," he didn't just
blurt those words out. No, he said themNow, red faced and distraught, the liberal
because he, like so many others believed inwill start demanding answers to other
God and had engrained that faith into ourquestions trying in vain to escape from your
country  and  our  founding  documents.clutches and the horrific experience you are
putting them through. When they ask you
Now, I could go on and on and spend thisthrough foaming spit if you even understand
entire article citing historical exampleshow Jesus was not even born on December 25th.
that tie the Judeo-Christian faith into theYou just smile and say, "I know and Merry
very fabric of America. But what I wouldChristmas."
rather do is make a joyous suggestion to
everyone. That suggestion is to do yourWhen the liberal raises his or her voice to a
civic duty this Christmas season and annoy afevered scream and asks you if you even know
liberal.that this "Christmas" thing used to be a
pagan holiday, you just keep smiling and say,
How? Well I am glad you asked! Annoy them"Yes," and quickly follow with, "Merry
by subjecting them to a torture that is soChristmas."
unbearable, so repulsive, so unmentionable in
polite company that you will no doubt beWhen he or she threatens to call the police
hearing rumblings from the United Nationson you for harassing them by refusing to stop
about how it should be made illegal. Am Isaying "Merry Christmas," you swell with
talking about waterboarding? Heck no. I ampride and say, "Good, then I can wish our law
talking about something far worse. Soenforcement  a  Merry  Christmas  too!"
please, consider Christmasboarding a liberal
while  you  still  can.At this point you will hear a loud "pop".
That is the sound of the liberal's brain
What  is  Christmasboarding?burning out and you will see a blank stare
cross their face and they will collapse into
It's quite simple really. Anytime a liberalthe fetal position, begin sucking on their
approaches you in the coming days and wantsthumbs and muttering over and over,
to deny reality this Christmas, you simply"Separation of church and state ... I will
hit them over the head with the truth. Thenot recognize religion exists ... the ACLU
great thing is that you don't actually havewill  save  me  ..."
to tie them down to do this because they will
be so incensed with their own outrage thatAnd then you can just walk away and search
you would dare put reality before them thatfor the next liberal to Christmasboard.



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